Friday, October 26

My Heart is Breaking

I have not posted anything in a few days. I had to make the most difficult decision of my life. I had to let my dog go on to a better place. He has arthritis in his hips, and I promised myself that I would let him go when the "bad" days were close to out weighing the "good". The deciding factor was last weekend when we went camping. He loved camping as much as the boys, and he just could not enjoy himself because of the pain.

My kids and Rick are the loves of my life, but so is Dakota. He was almost 16 years old. When I say that he is the best dog ever, I am not kidding. Every one that has ever met him says the same thing. He came into my life when he was 6 weeks old, and I just cannot imagine life without him.

I have lost grandparents and a one friend, but I have never felt pain like this before. I really think that my heart is broken. I am one of those people that is always happy and smiling -- looking on the bright side of life, but this is so difficult.

I will try and come back this weekend, and tell you more.

60 Comments:

Nancy Riley said...

Oh, Corie .... my heart aches for you and your family. Dogs are really something, aren't they? Their unconditional love is a true blessing in our lives. I'm so sorry about Dakota .....

Elizebeth said...

Oh Corie, I am so, so, so, sorry. Many times people underestimate the bond between animals and humans, it is deep, loving and unconditional.
I understand how you feel, as I've had to make the same decision. It is heartbreaking.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

ScrappyPam said...

I'm so sorry. Letting go of a beloved pet is the hardest thing. You are not alone.

fran said...

Oh Corie, I'm so sorry - what a heartbreaking decision. It sounds like your dog was a very special one and I'm sorry for your loss.

Samm said...

Sending lots of {{{hugs}}} your way, I have a cat with arthritis so I know you've done the right thing. I found this and thought of you.
Samm
x


Beyond The Rainbow

As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played,
I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.
I saw a wondrous image then of a place that's trouble-free
Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.

I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side
Were meadows rich and beautiful -- lush and green and wide!
And running through the meadows as far as the eye could see
Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be!
My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new
And I wanted to go run with them, but I had something left to do.

I needed to reach out to you, to tell you I'm alright
That this place is truly wonderful, then a bright Glow pierced the night.
'Twas the Glow of many Candles shining bright and strong and bold
And I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold.

For although we may not be together in the way we used to be,
We are still connected by a cord no eye can see.
So whenever you need to find me, we're never far apart
If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart.

cg - 1995

~* Tracy *~ said...

Dear Corie, I am so sad to hear what you are going through. Having to make that decision is heartbreaking. I really do feel your pain. I'm sending you big hugs and positive thoughts. Dakota's life has been truly blessed by having you in it.
~Tracy

kathleenh said...

Corie, big ((((((hugs))))))) to you. I don't know what to say. Pets are special in our lives and become a part of our families. I found this poem and hope it will bring you some comfort.

Beyond The Rainbow
As much as I loved the life we had and all the times we played,
I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.
I saw a wondrous image then of a place that's trouble-free
Where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.

I saw the most beautiful Rainbow, and on the other side
Were meadows rich and beautiful -- lush and green and wide!
And running through the meadows as far as the eye could see
Were animals of every sort as healthy as could be!
My own tired, failing body was fresh and healed and new
And I wanted to go run with them, but I had something left to do.

I needed to reach out to you, to tell you I'm alright
That this place is truly wonderful, then a bright Glow pierced the night.
'Twas the Glow of many Candles shining bright and strong and bold
And I knew then that it held your love in its brilliant shades of gold.

For although we may not be together in the way we used to be,
We are still connected by a cord no eye can see.
So whenever you need to find me, we're never far apart
If you look beyond the Rainbow and listen with your heart.

cg - 1995

Rose Ann said...

I am so sorry, Corie! Big hugs to you.

Dawn Easton said...

((((Corie)))) I understand you pain. It's a big decision to let go and it's always a very difficult one. My husband and I made that same choice, for the same reason with our Samoyed. When you can tell they are in obvious pain, you just can't bear to see them go through it. I couldn't look at any pictures for the longest time without crying. Now sitting on my shelf in front of me are a few great pictures! It takes time to heal, we just never forget. Take care girl!

jodene said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Tanis said...

I'm sorry too Corie...hugs.

Tricia said...

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine life without our dog. The pain dulls in time and you have wonderful memories. Hugs!

Eleanor said...

Corie, I'm so sorry to hear about your heartbreaking loss. My heart squeezed and tears filled up my eyes as I read your post. Pets are very much a part of the family. Their love for us is so unconditional. "Always" so happy to see us. They're like angels that remind us to love unconditionally and always be cheerful, no matter what comes our way. Sending you big big hugs.

Tracy.H said...

Corie,

I am so sorry. I too have had to make this hard decision...too many times. It is never easy and always painful. But as a family you will get through it. Big {{{{HUGS}}}} to you all.

Denise... said...

Oh Corie...I'm so, so, so sorry. I know that all of the great times you had will bring a smile to your face sometime soon. Hugs.

Kelly Sampson AKA Emmiestamps said...

Oh Corrie i am so sorry for your loss, losing a family member is very difficult take your time and take good care of yourself. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Princess Matilda said...

I can't imagine having to make that decision. I'm sure you did the right thing, and had you not, his quality of life would have gotten so much worse. Better to let him go with a good life in his mind than to let him suffer. But even saying all that, I know that decision would kill my heart. Many hugs to you and your family. I hope you can find peace of mind soon.

Dana said...

Oh Corie, how awful you must feel. I'm so sorry you had to make that decision. Remember the good times, and know that Dakota is remembering too. All my sympathy,
Dana

Linda McClain said...

Corie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Our dogs love us unconditionally and don't ask anything in return. It's hard when they're gone.

Michelle said...

((((HUGS))))) Corie, I'm so, so sorry! I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. There is nothing like the love between pet and pet-parent!

Teri said...

Hey Corie, sending lots of love and aloha your way - XOXO Teri

Beth said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs,

Beth

Fe-Fe said...

I'm so sorry about your dog. We had to make the same decision about our family dog when we were kids and it's the hardest thing to do but it's also the kindest when they get to that stage. My heart goes out to you Corie.

I'm sending you lots of love and hugs.
Fe x

Rita said...

Oh Corie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sending you extra love, hugs & kisses your way to you & your family!

Jan Scholl said...

Oh Corie-I so understand your pain. It was a year ago Monday my Clancy left us. The most painful part was he was fine one day and gone within two days. Had I known he was sick, I would have made the decision. I was rushing him to the emergency vet and he died in my back seat. I can still smell him in my car and my Marley has changed since his big brother is gone. You did what is true and right and 16 is incredibly elderly for a dog! HIs smiles will always be with you, even in the tears.

Heather P. said...

{{{{{Corie}}}}} :( I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Dakota... It's always so hard to let a pet go, and I myself have been struggling with that decision for one of our cats. I've had him since I was 16 years old, and it just kills me to think that we're going to have to make that dreaded last trip to the vet. :(

Pegg S said...

I'm sorry to hear the news. Hopefully he is in a better place. Take care~

Flossie's Follies said...

I am so sorry to hear this, pets have a special place in our hearts and lives and it is very difficult to say goodbye.

Jennifer said...

Corie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that was a very difficult decision to make. Our pets really do become our family. My thoughts are with you. {{{Hugs}}}

Dawn said...

So, so sorry for your loss. I know how hard losing a pet/friend can be.

Linda SS said...

I am so sorry for you & your family because I know that our pets become such a valued part of our family and it is so very painful to lose them. My sister had to make that same sad decision last weekend regarding their 13 yr. old collie, Max, who was in the same pain as Dakota. We can only hope (and believe) that both dogs are romping happily now in a grassy meadow, free of their pain. God bless you, Corie.

Theresa said...

Oh I'm so sorry! Our family has a dog for the first time and she has become a such a big part of us!
Blogging hugs your way!

Sencie said...

Corie, I'm so sorry to hear about your sad news. I know how hard it is. We had to make the same decision for our dog a few years ago. She was almost 17 years old and she was an awesome dog. Big (((((Hugs))))) for you and your family!!!

Kimberly said...

Oh, Corie, I am sorry for you leos. You take all the time you need. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers!
Kim

Shelly said...

Corie, I am so sorry to hear of your heartache! I will be thinking of you!

malieta said...

Corie I am so sorry!
I read your article about your dog and I totally understand how you feel! Here is a big (((((hug))))) for you, and your family.
Sincerely
malieta:)

dasimonds said...

So sorry to hear of your loss...
All the animal Lovers out there know how you feel...they are not just a pet.."They are family"
Remember all the joy and happiness Dakota brought into to your lives.
Take Care...HUGS!!!

Dee

Michelle said...

Oh, Corie, my heart breaks for you! Even though we know it's the right thing to do, it is still so difficult to say goodbye to our beloved pets. Big (hugs) to you and your family.

Wife2TJ said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what a hard decision that is. Just have faith in knowing you made the best one.

Here is one of my favorite poems-

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

(((HUGS))) with love, Samantha

Heather's Haven said...

I am SO sorry for your loss Corie. I have a "hip" issue dog... she's young, but I can tell by how she walks and runs that it will be an issue. I'm terrified of the day we have to deal with the end of life for our dog. My thoughts go out to your and your family as you adjust to life without him. ((hugs))

Jessica said...

Corie, i am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. i hope your pain eases in time.
Hugs,
Jessica

Natty said...

So sorry to hear of your loss Corrie.
Thinking of you. xx

corinnesomerville said...

Oh Corie....I'm so very sorry. Give yourself permission to grieve and feel this loss. I'm praying for you.

Take care.
Corinne

All Pink girl said...

Corie ,i am so sorry to hear about your loss ,we are all here for you ,take care Dawnx

Kat said...

You should not feel like you have to make excuses for feeling so sad. This is like losing a child. You raise them, just like you do children and the unconditional love they provide in return is unexplainable. This is going to hurt for a long time. I'm so sorry, it breaks my heart just thinking about it for you. ((((HUGS)))))
Kat

Maria said...

Oh Corie, I'm sad for you. I have two dogs and I would feel so sad if I had to see them go. One of my dogs name is also Dakota.

Pets are like family. . .I'm sorry that Dakota was in so much pain. It's always the living that suffers when a love one dies but at least Dakota is no longer suffering. You did the right thing.

Maria

Tiffany said...

Hang in there! It is so hard with Dakota not only being your first baby -- but giving completely unconditional love. Call me if you need anything!

NormaJ said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. Their love is unconditional and returned tenfold.
Dakota will always be with you in spirit and in time, you will grieve less and know your decision
was made with love. My thoughts are with you.

Splashryan said...

Oh Corie.I'm sorry for your loss! I know exactly how you feel and just know that your dog is in a much better, happier place totally pain free! Big hugs to you!

My thoughts are with you!
Tara

Gina Wrona said...

Oh, Corie, I'm so sorry to hear about your broken heart. I have a special poem that I'll email you since it would take up too much room as a comment.

Jessica said...

So sorry about your dog.

Christi said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I know how hard this is. {{{HUGS}}} You are in my thoughts.

Kim said...

Oh my Corie I am soooo sorry, I do know how you feel, I had to let go of my billie we had her 18 yrs and I couldn't do it the vet was annoyed with me but all the while she were eating and walking I couldn't, she let me know when she had had enough, though that didn't console me, and the pain is awful, but she brought such joy to us and I shall forever be grateful to her... Humongous hugs to ya

Jen said...

Hey Ms. C....

I am sooo sorry to find out about your doggie. I just stopped by today, and have read this, and I am deeply sorry for your loss. Please know that I am hugging you tight, and praying that you can find the strength to go on. Only time will heal. Take it one day at a time, and remember those wonderful days you've had with him. Dakota's spirit will live on, and will always remain in your hearts. You have given him love, a great life, and a great family. Remember... all dog's go to heaven.

Love You Lots,
Jen

Nancy Grant said...

Corie,

I am so sorry to read about the passing of your beloved dog. My heart aches for you and I hope you will have joy again in remember all the fun times instead of loss and emptiness.

Sincerely,
Nancy Grant

Ryemilan said...

Hi Corie,

This is very sad news. My thoughts are with you.

With hugs,
Sam.

Dawn said...

I am so so so so so so sorry. I know that pain and it's hard. God Bless.

Crafty in Calgary said...

Corie- I am so sorry to hear this news....hugs to you!

Deborah said...

Corie, I have been out of the loop, what with the fire evacuations here in San Diego. I am just now ctching up, and this is so sad! I can totaly understand, as my beloved Lobie is such an integral part of my daily life. It sounds like Dakota brought you and others much joy! Maybe when you fell up to ot, you could scrap a stroy of him. Happy birthday and enjoy the beach! Deb

Heidi said...

Corie I am so sorry to hear about Dakota. My heart aches for you and your family! You are in my thoughts & prayers.

Many Hugs to you!!
Heidi