Tuesday, September 2

Banned from Wal-mart

Here is another one from my Dad:

Banned from Wal-mart

You MUST read this...all the way to the end. If you're not in near hysterics, you have a very different sense of humor than I do! I would love to 'hang out' with Mr. Samsel....he would keep me in stitches!!

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. after I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

In the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras..

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked t he clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards, Tom Richards Wal-mart Manager


Tanis said...

Oh my goodness, that is too funny!!! Thanks for sharing ;)

Melissa said...

Absolutely hilarious!

Many Blessings,

Rita said...

Wow, thanks Corie! I certainly needed that laugh today!

Shannon McGann said...

OMGoodness! This is so funny! I'm sitting here at my computer laughing my head off! Thanks for sharing!

Carla said...

Thanks for sharing! I wish I'd get banned from Wal-Mart, I'd have a lot more money for stamps!!

Maria said...

LOL! Too funny! I love it!

Juliann said...

HAHAHA SOOOoooo funny Corie!!!
That was a good one!

Julie Mutch said...

OMG! Thanks for the laugh, Corie! I'm sitting here in some serious stitches! lol :)

I think he should be applauded for his imagination and sense of entertainment! To funny! :)

Have a great day!


Lee (LuvLee on SCS) said...

OMGosh!!! I absolutely LOL'ed especially at the one "Pick me, Pick me!"...........tooooooooo funny!!

Bouncy, Flouncy, Fun,Fun, Fun said...

OMG, Corie! That is just too funny! Thanks so much for the laugh!

Hugs, Becky:)

Nancy ~ Inkcicles said...

Too funny!!!


Nancy ~ Inkcicles said...

Too funny!!!


Michelle said...

OMG! Isthis real? Totally hilarious! I would love to hang out with him!

Rosella said...

LOL! Love it!! Will have to show this to my dh who also HATES shopping with me with a passion!!
Thanks for the morning chuckle, and thank you for your sweet comment on my blog!